The Adventures of Reese Macaque, P.I. (The Adventures of Rhesus A. Macaque, Private Investigator) by Mawyer Gary Mawyer & Edward G. & Mawyer Edward

Author:Mawyer, Gary Mawyer & Edward G. & Mawyer, Edward [Mawyer, Gary Mawyer and Edward G.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2018-08-30T00:00:00+00:00

Section 2

The air in the blimp was thin, dry and chilly. Not what I’m accustomed to at all. The wind pissed through the cables at cruising altitude and the air smelled like used feet. No doubt the hold was loaded with a hundred years’ worth of confiscated shoes. Couldn’t tell how long I’d been out. The weird aftertaste of sodium pentothal meant I’d been drugged for information as soon as I came aboard. Should have figured that would happen. Yep, they’d gone through my mind like Miss Nancy’s kindergarten class on an Easter Egg hunt. And it’s not clean in there. Not a place for children. Fortunately nothing was missing.

Nowhere to run on a blimp. And I wasn’t alone. That face. Everyone in the Federarchy knows that face. The most famous man in what’s left of the old Federal Empire, hero of a thousand encounters with people who just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time—Archcop Eustace Rangatang, head of the Volkspinnen.

“Zooo … Herr Macaque. Ve are zer up vaking, nein?”

“Who hires you people?” I said. My favorite question. They have no idea.

“I vill zer qvestions ax. Zooo … next qvestion. Here is a little device. Vat is it, ve are very curious, nein? Zer soda pop pours into zer cylinder like zo, und here is ein klein pump… ve pump it into zer glass… now zer soda is clear! No more zer Pepsi resembles! Now it is crystal! Und still zer carbonation it mostly haf!”

“I really couldn’t care less. No fool would mistake it for water though. It’s got bubbles.”

“Zooo … Macaque, you haf zer first test passed. ‘Does not distract easily.’ But you realize, zer inexpensive handheld super-filter novelty pump is from Japan—zis you know, nein?”

“Yeah, but I’m not.”

“Das ist gute. ‘Does not think he is Japanese.’ For zer thirdt test…”

“Am I gonna get a diploma for this, Rangatang?”

Eustace smiled horribly, revealing government teeth. “Qvite brilliant, Macaque. You zer monkey ve are looking for could be. Zer thirdt test, ‘Understands the importance of papervork.’ Zooo… you pass. You are hired.”

“For what?”

“Zat is secret, Macaque.”

Most things are. But telling that to Eustace Rangatang would make him even more suspicious.

“Tom Swift would have loved your airship,” I said.

“Zen ve vill haff his records pulled at vunce .”

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